Four Little Things and "some people who did something"

Hi Readers, grab a Colombian, it's a long one!

Yeah I know, February 2018 as my last post does not a writer make! Lots has happened in a year and, to efficiently complete a lifestyle defrag, I reset certain aspects of me to 'idle' for a while.

Then this morning, as I'm waking up I suddenly string a line of coding together and an interesting picture emerges; you know, when your mind re-minds you of a few key events which, in the moment mean nothing but, when strung together give you that 'aha' moment? Well, that happened this morning or are we still believing in coincidence?

Do I Make You Happy?

When your very happiness depends on something outside yourself (better boss, better lover, better home, better pay-packet), there's value in that frustration. Ask yourself why you might be giving away personal power in this transaction. Look at that. Look deeply into what your real need is and look deeply into what it is in you that feels unable to feed your own needs.

Il Dolce Far Niente

to sit

to walk

to be alone

is no mean feat

phone on

telly on

"but I am alone!"

that's the con

What is it to be alone with yourself and have nothing to interrupt your attention?

Was I Looking in the Right Direction?

When I left the corporate world 3 years ago, was I dreaming big enough? Could I have imagined where I would get to and, most importantly, could I have anticipated the blind terror I was throwing myself into. "No" to all three.

Agitating the Ordering Principle

Staring into the blank white open space and pausing while words form. It's been a long pause between posts lately and the pauses between seem to get longer and longer. Not because there are no words forming; there are too many to capture.

An old poem dedicated to a new friend

For Debbie - who, with tons of conviction, stepped up to the plate to read one of my poems with vigour, vitriol, a dramatic pointing finger and a license to get angry! Well held Debbie; loved your delivery!! x

Battlecoat

Pushing Through

Reflections and Dreaming

As I look back, through fallen leaves of fear and ego, gently picking my way through decomposing beliefs, I can see how far I've come on this journey of transformation through the process of radical enquiry.

Never Give Up!

I recently presented to a local anxiety group and what a wonderful experience it was. They were warm, welcoming and interested in pushing their boundaries into a new landscape. A few have stayed in touch and one lady stands out who had such a great question for me.

Systems of Control - Education

"Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire” 

 ...William Butler Yeats

It’s been an interesting week of civil disobedience around the education, or SAT testing, of our children. A beautifully written article by a friend of mine in the States who used to be a teacher has inspired me to write. It was one quote in particular that made me smile, thank you Mike DePung.

The Mantis and the Crab

Yesterday I read the sexiest article I’ve read in a very long time. I think it will change the course of my winter experience this year. The article, written by Jeanette Winterson, talks about her experience of the dark and how resistance to winters heartbeat can upset the body’s natural rhythms. I’m not going to go into it here because it’s such a fantastically gorgeous piece of writing that to paraphrase it will serve only to numb its unctuous intimacy.

The Tao of Potter

Some say that our addiction to media (and technology) is divisive or designed to maintain a comatic state; it is what prevents us from living a 'whole' life, balanced and in harmony with ourselves and our surroundings. I would agree to some extent. However, when life (and media) is viewed through the lens of metaphor, it becomes a really useful healing tool.

Part Three - Resurrecting the Crone

The Mirror of Mortality?

Part One here | Part Two here

Why does ‘beauty’ even have to relate to age or be in the same sentence as it? Why would someone who successfully defies age, be hailed a star or be amazing and fabulous? If Mirren lived a ‘face-naked’ life, would she still be the new face of L'Oreal? 

Part Two - Resurrecting the Crone

Tea with Dad

I shuddered as horrified eyebrows raised themselves up to meet Hairline, who stared at him, angrily.

Resurrecting the Crone

Part One: The Decision (and how it met the business and the personal)

And with a gloomy sigh she uttered "Got to keep the Grey at bay" and my heart sank at the thought of another few decades of dying my hair. I had bumped into my Mum in town as she was rushing to make a hair appointment for yet another cut and colour.

That was early 2014 and became the day I vowed never again to dye my already Greying hair. I might have thought twice about this decision had I anticipated the deeply significant journey it would take me on.

Shadow Walker

This is a portrait of a woman named Sabrida Shing.
She is one of a few rare women to take on the task of becoming a Sadhu.
After her husband died, she grew her hair and wove his memory into it.

She creeps silent and deeply aware

Whispering through your shadows

Birdsong in the murky gloom

And you sense her presence

Does Personal Transformation Look Like a Mental Breakdown?

Artwork by Deviant Art

In our society where the paradigm is often to mimic 'same' or 'common denominator' behaviour, the transformation into personal authenticity may well look like a mental breakdown. 

Chapter of Life

And as she stared at him, feeling numb, her face showing nothing, one betraying tear slid down her cheek.  She vowed this would be the only tear she would shed for her man.  She looked down at the table as the tear detached itself from her beautifully made-up face and plopped heavily onto the back of her hand.  Wondering if he’d seen it and surveying the half eaten meal and in this moment it suddenly became important to her that this food was about to be wasted and she always hated to waste food, especially in this restaurant.  She normally gave all her scraps to her dog to ease her guilt!

Assertion or Aggression?

Being assertive is a skill. It is easy to learn. A little more challenging to practice and totally liberating when used with confidence.

Anxiety – Is It a Thought or a Feeling?

Anxiety lies in the space between what we know (and can manage) and what we don't know (and may be prone to worrying about). Disentangling and naming these counterparts is the first step to managing anxiety. Know what you know and know what you don't know. Manage what you are able to manage and let go of the rest, acknowledging that it is beyond your control. All self management starts within. It is the inner self that deals with the world and forms perceptions, values and beliefs. It is this inner self we need to be best friends with.